Thursday, June 21, 2012

Revealed: Turning it all around and be grateful.

Not a lot of people know about this. Only a tiny number of my friends do. But I am finally writing about it. Because it was just another part of my life that made me stronger. Be grateful. 

I used to have skin problems when I was little. I had all sorts of skin problems, it was a total nightmare. From dry, overly sensitive skin to redness, extreme itchiness. Several parts of my skin had cracks in them and red spots would appear on my skin. There are many points in my life where my skin would break out in hives, or due to the over dryness I had in my skin, bacteria would invade my skin and it would cause wounds to appear and it would be extremely itchy. I would scratch it and it would cause an even bigger wound. Until in the end, I would have bandage wrapped around my elbow or my legs. As a kid I faced these disastrous problems. 

My parents would spent a whole load of money trying to get my skin cured. My father would spend his time bandaging my wounds and applying cream on them while my mom would mix herbal, detoxificating drinks for me. A big part of my sensitive problems were on my legs. Both of my legs have huge, red, itchy wounds that looked like some animal fed on it. Trust me, you do not want to see how it looks back then. 

I didn't know how serious was my situation back then, until my father explained something to me. He said, if more and more wounds appear on your legs without them completely healing, sooner the flesh on your legs will get rotten and they need to be cut off and you won't have any legs anymore. He meant medically. 

That really hit me, from then on I tried my best to cooperate with my parents in helping to cure my skin. But all my childhood I was stuck with this problem. Until I was ending primary school going on high school. About time when I was form 1/2. I wasn't able to wear shorts because I had scars and wounds on my legs. It was so horrible for me. Mentally I was mad and angry and sad because I wondered why did God gave me a pair of perfectly capable legs to walk and jump but with such atrocious problem. Watching other girls with their shorts and perfectly flawless legs walking around was such a mental strain at that time. Teenagers cry at night due to relationship problems, but I would sob into my pillow for the sake of my legs. The worse part was, we didn't know what kind of skin problem I had. Skin like mine weren't very popular at all during my age. Nobody in my family had them, not even my extended family. Most people were just hit with acne and blemish problems on their faces. We thought it was perhaps over sensitivity or maybe it was just me, scratching on my legs when itchiness comes. It was a devastating decade whenever someone mentioned about my legs. It was so uncontrollable. Even as I recall those years right now, its just so crazy. 

One day, they found a skin specialist doctor. We went to him and he did some tests and looked at my legs. And then after all those years, it was finally concluded that my skin had only a couple of problems. Sensitivity and Eczema. 

If you try googling Eczema you can see that it all comes down to the original skin type, I was born with Eczema. Both my parents nor my grandparents did not have them. But I did, and I had to live with it. And then comes the answer, it was not curable. Ever. It was more than a couple of years ago so I couldn't really remember what I was thinking when I got told that. But all that happened, and I dealt with my emotional state. Or else I wouldn't be here blogging about it would I? 

Fortunately, the doctor said it was at least controllable. And here's how I can now walk around with my shorts and the most smooth legs. 

When I was younger, I did not bother with moisturizing creams or hydrating lotions or whatnots for my skin. Not only my legs. Even my arms, face, etc. 

Now, I had more than 10 (maybe even 20) moisturizers, hydrants and care for my skin that I apply every day and night. Some days when my skin feels better I don't bother with anything. Bad habits die hard, don't they? But I've learned, and I know I should take care of myself because God gave me this because he knows I can deal with it and become a stronger person. I did exactly that. 

So I wanted to say, be grateful for everything you have. I did not know how to be grateful to even have perfectly capable legs to walk in until I saw articles of people who lost their legs or who were not born with legs. Every problem you have in life comes with a solution. Its just a matter of whether are you going to search and reach for the solution or not.  

Also, I wanted to thank both my parents for their extravagant amount spent on me, (not only for my skin, but for everything else) and for their everlasting love. No amount of repaying can ever take place of their parent love. Even now I am extremely grateful for everything I have. I would be nowhere on the face of this planet without them. I will continue to be as best as a daughter to the both of you. 

Never, ever, ever give up at allPeople say never give up easily, I think you shouldn't give up at all. To get somewhere in life, you have to be worthy of it. Bring out the best in you, show it to the world. 

You needn't have to worry about my legs or my skin now, they're all well controlled! And I have no plans to let history rewrite itself. 


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